Sunday Afternoon

Panic attacks lead to 

Paranoia that preludes 

Full throttle breakdowns 

Full out fallbacks 

Into pharmaceutical abuse 

That chemical embrace 

An effort to erase 

All the wrong I’ve done 

Over so many years 

Cleanliness is next to Godliness 

But it only goes so far 

As a penance for my sins 

Depression hangs above me 

Like a storm cloud 

Only too eager to 

Wash away sunny days 

Sending me back inside 

To count bottles and pills 

Recounting all I’m ashamed of 

A truthful man tells no lies 

But keeps secrets locked away 

Hidden behind plain looking logic 

Guarded by a tongue 

Versed in semantics 

The ability to spin syllables and 

Shape meaning into new topics 

Is a learned skill 

Practiced every hour and 

Perfected every day 

What resides behind 

Deep blue eyes is 

Philosophy so complicatedly simple 

That explanation is torturous 

Unique visual spectra 

Constantly create situations 

In which I’m the only one 

To believe in the good 

That no one else sees 

2009