Before

This was before you

Before we were us

Before we settled down

Before we were a family

This was back when

I thought recovering addicts

And broken women

Were the only ones who would love me

This was when I was young

When I didn’t know my worth

When I wasn’t sure who I was

When I hated myself

This was in the days

Of alcohol and cigarettes

When ever present exhaustion

Allowed the depression to take hold

And I remember thinking about veering off the road and the heavy oppression of days spent all alone and the darkness of my bedroom closing in on me at night and the ever present voice taunting in my head and the ugly thoughts that I could never silence and the jealousy I felt looking at my friends and I hated myself and I hated where I was and I hated I hated I hated I hated

But that was before you

Before you showed me my worth

Before you accepted me

Before you made me feel love

2019