Enemy

I see the scenery passing in the background

Yet I feel no progress is being made

Slow and steady wins the race

But kills your mental health

Because your brain screams “hurry”

While your heart says “hold”

Fear restricting what you can and cannot do

Desired actions become wishful thougths

Needing to be coaxed into reality

By overt gestures and reassuring words

I don’t want to be seen as uninteresting

Or uninterested, or uninviting, or uninvolved

I’m constantly getting in my own way

My words tangling around one another

Awkward moments arise in the silence

While I try to untie these verbal knots

I hold myself back while I yearn to move forward

Self imposed limitations act as roadblocks

Hindering my ability to be who I want

I am my own worst enemy

I hope my words and actions

Don’t distract from my intentions

I try to show you the truth

But fear I don’t know how

Don’t mistake my apprehension

For apathy or aversion

It stems from my anxiety

My worry that I may ruin this

Before it can truly begin

With a misplaced hand or misspoke word

2013