Momentary Thoughts

My head swims in dizzy thoughts 

After three cigarettes breathed in quick succession 

Raw and dry my throat aches 

Giving my stress physical form 

Late night cold cuts against bare arms 

Thousands of needles pricking the skin 

Searching for answers to unasked questions 

Prodding me for information I don’t know I have 

There are things I pretend not to understand 

Self-preservation disguised as naivety 

And I eat less than usual in the sunlight 

Making me feel weak and nauseous 

My eyes burn coarse and swollen 

Too little sleep over too many days 

I’m trying to remember the last time 

Vertigo didn’t accompany every step 

The pavement of this parking lot 

Feels like an ocean under my feet 

Changing directions without my consent 

Sending me stumbling to the ground 

A drunk who’s dry as an empty bottle 

Around me skeleton silhouettes in the form of shadows 

Unnaturally elongated by the dying sun 

Days pass by whether I like it or not 

A series of optimistic sunrises 

Each new morning is another chance 

For everything to go horribly wrong 

Risk and reward dance a carefully choreographed routine 

Twisting and spinning around one another 

Blurring the line that divides them 

Two people can become one 

But can one person become two 

A chameleon in human skin 

Ever changing to blend in with my surroundings 

2011